OK, I have a hundred different things going on right now. but this trailer review could not wait a minute more.
Everyone knows Miley Cyrus, unless you happen to be deaf, mute, and blind. But if you are, I doubt you are usuing the internet… you are probably using brail or something and I am pretty sure I do not have a brail publication of THISTRAILERSUCKS.COM out for purchase ( YET ) so this was a pointless run on sentence.
ANYWAY, we all know Miley and her annoying voice. I annoying the right word? Her voice has the same sound of an old heavy smoker who drowns their sorrows in whisky but says things like “OH EM GEE” and “KEWL”. So it is a pretty odd choice that they would have her doing the voice over to this retarded trailer, you would think they would want someone with a soothing/exciting voice like Demi Moore… oh wait nevermind.
The trailer opens up with Miley telling us about starting her new school year at a high school filled with attractive teenagers. That always bothers me. Why in movies do high schoolers, even the geeky ones, never have any acne or mentally disabled kids in their high schools taking “life skills” classes? In my H.S. we always had a boat load of mentally challenged teens who would spend an entire school day in one classroom learning how to make change and not shit their pants. Just another unsolved mystery.
You can tell from the trailer that Miley’s character is pretty popular, and by popular I mean…. she gets around, and by gets around I mean, she spend a lot of time playing the skin flute.
She tells us that her name is Lola but everyone calls her… LOL. This movie sounds GREAT….
We are then shown a clip of Miley doing what she does best with her ‘boyfriend’ and she scolds him for not calling or texting her. He then admits that he hooked up with someone else. This news causes Miley to run as fast as she can away from him an flail her arms about over her head. Oscars watch out! We then see her dive into her bed and sob uncontrollably while Stick Stickley (DEMI MOORE) tries to comfort her by holding her against her boney, sad body.
After Mileys encounter with Skelator (DEMI MOORE) she goes back to her room and angrily writes in her diary and changes her boyfriends contact name in her cell phone from “boyfriend” to “EX-boyfriend” thus making it official. One thing, who puts people in their phone under contact names like boyfriend and girlfriend? Is miley so underdeveloped that the only way she can remember who someone is in her phone is by labeling them in such a way “FRIEND”, “BOYFRIEND”, “SCIENCE TEACHER”, “BLONDE FRIEND.” Maybe her breasts developed instead of her brain.
Then we follow Miley on a montage of her falling for her ex boyfriends friend and her confronting her ex’S new girlfriend. Here is how that conversation goes:
New GF: Dont be jelous
Miley: DONT WORRY
In SUMMARY: This is a fucking train wreck. This is obviously meant to be a teen drama, but it comes of as cliche and comedic. Movies with such a predictable plot and shitty cast should not be allowed to exist.