If you missed the funeral for Whitney Houston a few days ago you can watch the entire thing here.
I decided to do something new on ThisTrailerSucks.Com, because I always review trailers I decided it would be fun to review a funeral. Come on, we all have been to a funeral or two and it is no secret that some bedazzle while others are just lacking in the entertainment department.
Whitney Houston’s funeral was in my opinion “eh”. It was filled with high profile celebrity guest speakers and it felt a little bit like when they hand out a life time achievement award on one of those award shows on TV. Maybe that was the point?
The funeral started with a big choir dancing and singing. So I immediately fast forwarded to the first speaker. Then the next speaker. Then the next speaker. and I finally stopped when I saw KEVIN COSTNER on the podium. WTF?? He was her co-star in The Body Guard … but wasn’t that in 1994? You’re not going to expect me to believe that Kev and Whit had a long lasting pally wally friendship are you? You do? Wow, you’re an asshole.
That is when I started to really think that maybe they were just trying to get more views than the Michael Jackson funeral. But even with the start studded guest list, only 5 million people tuned in to watch Houston’s “going home” event (that is what the Houston family called it instead of a funeral) while 31 million people watched MJ’s.
Reports say that Bobby Brown and Whitney’s daughter Bobby Christina left the “going home” ceremony early. But really who gives a fuck? I would have left early too, if they really wanted to spice things up they should have had Madonna perform another half time debauchery and then had Katty Perry shoot fireworks out of every opening of her body. That would have been memorable.
At then end of the funeral everyone thanks Governor Chris Christie for lowering the flags to half mast. Obviously the people saying thank you for this have not had any of their close relatives killed over seas while serving this country. Whitney Houston died in a bath tub from popping too many xanax. Not in the line of fire, so wtf Christie? Just for that you earn the honorable ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK AWARD. (NO PUN INTENDED)