Blockbuster Franchise R.I.HELL.

A couple of weeks ago my local Blockbuster finally shut down and closed their doors for good. So I decided I would do a post telling you, the reader, about some of my very own personal experiences with Blockbuster.

Did you know that I was a former Blockbuster employee? YES I WAS! But my career as a Blockbuster Movie clerk was short-lived, after a couple of weeks of their bullshit I got right the hell out of there but I still continued to occasionally rent a movie or game from there. Hey, nobody is perfect. From an insider’s perspective, I really am not that surprised they went out of business. The amount of lies we would tell our “guests” was unbelievable. It was like we all traded in our morals for that blue and yellow polo shirt. For a complete and VERY ACCURATE list of lies we all would tell consumers on a daily basis click HERE.

Another reason I believe blockbuster was doomed has to be those pathetic attempts at marketing campaigns. Whoever was in charge of these disgusting commercials should be brought out and given multiple paper cuts with Blockbuster Membership cards. Lets take a look at some:

1990 Blockbuster Kiddie Commercial

This one is obviously directed at the kids. But what the FUCK were they thinking. A group of four small children (ONE OF THEM BLACK TO SHOW EVERYONE, “HEY BLOCKBUSTER IS A GOOD TIME FOR ETHNIC GROUP!”) running, nay SPRINTING into blockbuster. No parents present, and these four kids must have been on some crazy drugs because they are chasing dinosaurs and riding in spaceships. Its fucking crazy. At the end of the commercial they introduce us to all of the characters in the cartoon, telling us their names and likes. I guess Blockbuster was thinking about making a cartoon series? That’s the only reason I can think that they would spend a good 20 seconds of their commercial time saying nothing about Blockbuster and telling us about the lives of this multiracial group of friends. Not the best way to spend paid air time.

1992 Blockbuster Commercial

Ahh, the good old days. You can tell Blockbuster thought they were hot shit around the time they made this commercial. The voice over tells us that “With over 10,000 movies to choose from in store, there’s no wonder Blockbuster Videos are popping up all over the country”. Fast forward 20 years and “with Redbox vendors offering only 1.00 rentals it’s no wonder Blockbusters are closing all over the country,” muahaha. This commercial really disturbs me. This little white suburban family is in a white room and then out of no were shit is coming out of the floor, movies are floating on the shelves, people are just appearing in the store with them, and the clerk is totally chill. She’s just behind the counter not giving a shit what happens.

1993 Blockbuster Christmas Commercial

In this one we see a Mom who is telling us “WOULDNT IT BE NICE TO GET YOUR SHOPPING ALL DONE IN ONE STORE, WELL AT BLOCKBUSTER YOU CAN FIND A MOVIE FOR EVERYBODY!” Yeah OK, who wants to be the asshole giving everyone one copy of Forrest Gump on VHS for Christmas? Blockbuster is not a place to get EVERYONE’S Christmas shopping done, you’re thinking of Macy or J C Penny or WALMART for fuck sake.

Carl and Ray 2000’s

Probably the best Blockbuster commercials ever made. This was still a few years away from Netflix’s rise to supreme power, and Blockbuster had some dough to spend. So they figured, why not spend it on some cgi. Plan sounds good, until they settled on making the new commercials be about a rabbit and a hamster that are just sitting across the street from a Blockbuster store in a very nicely kept cage inside of a pet store. AND NO ONE EVER BUYS THESE TWO ANIMALS. Where is Sarah Mclachlan when you need her?

Blockbuster was no where near as popular as it was before the emergence of Netflix, but my local store they knew they were really fucked when Redbox’s started popping up everywhere. Who in their right mind is going to pay a couple of bucks and  walk into blockbuster when they could spend ONE DOLLAR, rent the movie, and then return it to ANY of the other 3,000,000,000 redbox locations the next day? AN ASSHOLE, THAT’S WHO.

Sorry Blockbuster but seriously how long did you think we were all going to rely on YOU for renting new release movies? 80,000 people live in my town and you got 40 copies of WAR OF THE WORLDS when it was released. You stupid assholes! Then you expect to make up for it being out by offering a ‘free classic movie rental’. Sounds great, I just drove 15-20 minutes out of my way to watch a new release movie that you didn’t have, but I shouldn’t be mad because you’re gonna make up for it by letting me pic a movie that’s 2-10 years old? ARE YOU GUYS OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MINDS?!
Yes we are!

The list of reasons why Blockbuster is out of business just goes on and on. But at least now I will never have to return hangover 2, and to be honest I probably wouldn’t have anyway.

6 thoughts on “Blockbuster Franchise R.I.HELL.

  1. While it’s not surprising that Blockbuster’s going out of business, it does make me very sad that the ritual of walking into a video rental store and wandering around perusing the selections has been replaced by standing in line to press a touch screen in order to choose from a fantastic selection of 30 DVDs while the 5-6 people behind you sigh and tap their feet wishing you’d hurry up already.

  2. Wow I am surprised your local Blockbuster just closed. The ones around here have been shut down for over a year. I did use them for a bit when they did away with late charges, I would borrow xbox games for weeks at a time.

  3. I was so glad that I didn’t get called back for an interview after applying to Blockbuster. With the emergence of Netflix, I knew that Blockbuster would just instantly go down. What a piece of shit. They made such a big deal out of removing late fees, but then they returned them. WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING?! WHY oh WHY would I want to waste my time physically going to a video store that his limitted copies of everything, charge $7 per ITEM when I could simply stay in the comfort of my own home and NETFLIX that shit. So instead of renting 3 movies for $21 plus the fucking taxes, I could stream 3 movies every night if I wanted, for the hefty price of $7 a MONTH!!!

  4. I am currently employed by Blockbuster/Dish. I am proud of the way I treat my customers and have made some great friendships in doing so. I really do care about those guys. However, recently, Blockbuster online has been pulling some crap that more than irritates me. These nice folks are getting ripped off. Paying for a service that they trusted would work and now…nothing? Seriously? And I am the one they come to when they are at wits end and ready to kill. I have nothing to do with the online portion minus the fact I am the one that checks in the rentals they get in-store for the online exchange. My employees and I are very good at taking care of our customers. We know most of them by first, last or first and last name. Our children go to school together. We go to church together. See each other at local grocery stores. And now I’m the bad guy thanks to some moron that can’t get his or her act together with the online portion. Last night a very large angry man came up to me and was literally ready to reconfigure my bone structure. Luckily he knew I was being sincere when I said I was sorry and was trying to help him with what limited ability I am given in my store. I have yet to see or hear an apology from corporate about this to my customers or to my employees who are taking the bad end of the attitudes from the pissed off customers. My wish is to have some of these corporate guys and gals to come in and explain to them why they are not providing a service while the customer is still shucking out hard earned money to Blockbuster. So I apologize now to my customers on here. Please don’t be angry with the in-store employees. Believe it or not we really do value your business. You have every right to be angry. I would be as well.

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