So I have been seeing this trailer on TV quite a bit and decided to give it a closer look. I would have been able to give it an even closer look if I had the same gigantic eyeballs that Amanda Seyfreid has.
But alas, I was not blessed with such a gift so I will have to settle for the standard resolution you tube trailer. *sigh*
Anyway, this movie looks horrible. The trailer starts off with Amanda’s character’s sister Molly begging her to go to dinner with her on Sunday night. Amanda does not want to go but eventually agrees to do. I wonder why this bitch doesn’t want to go to dinner with her sister? What else could she be doing? Maybe she had an appointment with the optometrist to order XXXXL contact lenses? Or maybe Amanda’s character is just an uppity bitch. Probably both.
But things take a turn for the worse when Amanda goes to meet her sister the next morning and discovers an empty bed and saying “OH MY GOD”. Tell me what is so crazy about her bed being empty? Amanda immediately jumps to the conclusion that her sister was slung over a kidnappers shoulder and dragged out into the woods.
This just sounds fucking stupid. We then see her sitting in a police station explaining that she was a victim of a kidnapping and she thinks that the killer has come back for her but instead of finding her he abducted Molly instead. Now I am confused. So this bitch was kidnapped and the guy got away with it? Further more, this bitch was kidnapped and she didn’t think to have a security system installed in her house? COME ON. She got lucky that this psycho didn’t pluck her huge eyes out of her head the first time he got a hold of her, so why not take a few security measures to make sure he couldn’t easily break in to her home? Oh I know, because she is an ASSHOLE!
When the cops ask her why this killer would come back for her she says “because I am the only one that knows his secret.” Wow. Im smelling a Shutter Island on the horizon. I am willing to bet you, that’s right, ALL OF YOU, that this movie winds up with her being the killer. I am willing to bet that she killed all the other girls and finally hopped in the hole herself and made up this crazy story trying to implicate some fictional man as the culprit.
The trailer says she only has 12 hours to find out who the killer is before her sister Molly dies. Dies from what? The last time I checked you can survive sitting in a hole for more than 12 hours. We have all waited longer at the DMV and survived. So wtf is with this time line? I guess the writer just wanted to make us feel like there would eventually be a conclusion, something that we can look at and measure how much longer we have to sit through this ridiculous piece of cinematic shit.