The (DE)Evolution Of The Hollywood Star

Ever watch TMZ and wonder… “What the fuck are these rich bastard complaining about?” I always find it strange when actors and actresses shy away from, and sometimes even punch, the camera’s. Why do they hate the attention they begged for so much? I suppose mortals like you and I will never understand what it feels like to be constantly hawked over by paparazzi, but I would imagine it would feel pretty awesome.

But in the past few decades with the invention of digital cameras and pretty much EVERYONE having a camera on their cell phones, it is harder than ever for high profile celebrities to get even a SMIDGE of privacy. Too bad for them, fantastic for us. Thinking about this and looking at photos on the internet made me really want to show you what a difference a few decades can make. Lets go back to the FIRST film ever made.

The Horse In Motion (1878)

The Horse In Motion is said to be the FIRST movie ever released. It was the creation of Eadweard Muybridge.

Not very photogenic.

The film is shown above, a single looping clip that made audiences GASP with delight. No one could believe that this man was able to make a horse gallop right before their eyes. Needless to say, no one was following this Santa look-a-like around asking for his autograph. He was treated more like a scientist than a director of JAMES CAMERON proportion. People wanted to know how he did it, once the secret was this Horse gave birth to the film industry.

With the new industry blossoming, then came the actors. Yes the jackasses that were going to be paid for learning a few lines. Are you ever sickened by the fact that these actors and actresses make MORE money than an entire police department? I think that all this money and increased demand for pictures of celebrities over the years has turned them into walking punch lines. Lets compare some of the golden age Hollywood stars to the dirt bags we have now.


What a beautiful and glamorous lady Lucy was. She really was a talent, and always looking her best.


This is our red head of the new millennium. A dazed and totally confused Linday gives us a smile only a mother could love. Not her mother of course, that lady is only after her money.


Oh Judy Garland! What a shame there is no one like you for the young women of America to look up too!


Instead, this is what we get. An 80% alcohol carbon copy, singing and dancing around like an inebriated cow.

I hope one day Hollywood can return to its golden age. Back before stars decided to go out and do cartwheels without and undergarments on, and run around sun set strip with shaved heads attacking reporters with umbrellas. Their personal lives have become more interesting than any of the films they star in.

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